Youth Archives - King's Arms Church

As I write this, I’ve just signed up for a free online course in children’s mental health. I haven’t felt this excited about a training course for a long time; I really believe this will be eye-opening and so helpful in the work I do supporting children and families.

The sudden decline in children’s happiness has seemed to be slowly creeping up on us and I feel, like many other people who work with children, this is now rapidly approaching a crisis point. There are many reasons educators, psychologists and doctors cite for this ‘recession in children’s happiness’, such as:

The pandemic and cuts to educational budgets
Long NHS waiting times for mental health support
A decline in reading for pleasure (as an avid reader this reason intrigues me so much)
An increase in anxiety and depression that mirrors how much time is spent on screens

If it takes a village to raise our children and young people, how can we ensure that we are playing our part in setting them up well to thrive?

Let’s talk about screen time, social media and raising our children and young people as tech-healthy, happy humans — and modelling this well too!

WHAT DOES JESUS TEACH US ABOUT BALANCING SCREEN TIME?

Even though Jesus didn’t speak directly about technology, His teachings still apply to the dangers of too much screen time:

Guard your heart and mind
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23

Too much screen time, especially on social media or video games, can fill our minds with unnecessary distractions, unhealthy comparisons or even sin. Jesus calls us to protect our hearts and focus on what is good.

Seek Him first
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matthew 6:33

If screens are taking up most of our time, are we still seeking God first? Jesus teaches us to prioritise Him over everything else in life.

Prioritise what’s important
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better.”
Luke 10:41-42

Just like Martha was distracted with tasks instead of listening to Jesus, screens can keep us from what really matters — spending time with God and our family and friends.

True rest is found in God
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28

Screens can make our minds restless and anxious. Jesus invites us to find true rest in Him, not in endless distractions.

HOW CAN WE SUPPORT OUR CHILDREN/YOUNG PEOPLE?

The message for us and our children is clear: Technology isn’t bad, but it must be used wisely.

So, how can we live this out? What can I do as an aunt to my ‘niblings’ (niece and nephews)? My niblings live on the other side of the country and I rely on texts/FaceTime to communicate with them. I love getting a video call from my 15-year old niece. I love that my nephew nags me when I’ve dropped my Duolingo streak!

Here some practical tips that we can implement for ourselves and our children and young people:

Check in regularly: Ask how they feel about their screen time. Children and young people are super reflective and more aware than we think, they will know when too much scrolling is having a negative effect on them e.g. eye strain, lack of focus or feeling stressed.
Model healthy, balanced tech use: If they see us setting limits with our own screen time, they’ll be more likely to do the same. Also, let them see you enjoying books, outdoor activities and social interactions without screens.
Use parental controls & monitoring: Keep them safe by ensuring your WIFI has filters to protect them from harmful websites. Also, look into using built-in parental control options on devices to set screen time limits, restrict inappropriate content and monitor app usage.
Turn off notifications: Help them reduce distractions by muting unnecessary alerts.
Agree on limits: Instead of dictating rules, collaborate on a balanced screen time plan that works for them.
Introduce screen-free times: Suggest “no-screen” zones like mealtimes, before bed or during family activities.
Encourage hobbies and social activities: Help them explore sports, music, art or other hands-on activities. If they like a certain hobby, do it with them! It will strengthen your connection and make offline time more appealing.

FREE RESOURCE FOR FURTHER LEARNING

Finally, we also need to educate ourselves. Spacemakers, an organisation run by Christian award-winning author and TEDx speaker, Daniel Sih, are offering a free tech course — Raising Teach-Healthy Humans — for those of us who want to learn more about navigating the digital world with wisdom and balance.

This insightful course will address questions like:

When should I give my child a smartphone?
What types of media are better for my young child’s brain?
How do I set a healthy tech-culture at home?
How do I talk about hard stuff such as online pornography?
How can we parent together as a community?

As we navigate the ever-changing digital world, let’s be intentional about guiding our children, and ourselves, toward a healthy, balanced and Christ-centered approach to technology.

Much love,
Kat Wright and the eFocus team

How can we support our young people in building their faith? In Proverbs 22:6 it says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (The word ‘children’ in this verse from the original translation actually means young person.) Let’s take a look at one those foundational tools that we can teach our young people; a tool that Jesus modelled to us really well — asking questions.

The Youthscape’s research team recently did a study on 16-19 year olds called ‘No questions asked’. They gathered a range of young people, some with faith and some without. The aim of the study was to discover what questions young people had about God and faith. They discovered that young people showed a severe lack of questions and curiosity about faith due to five main reasons. One of the reasons given was that young people saw questions as disrespectful.

Here is an extract from the article (you can read a summary of the published article here):

We were surprised to find a lack of questioning among some of the religious young people in our sample. For some of the religious young people, this was due to what they perceived as active discouragement from the religious communities they are part of, or for fear of what would happen if they aired their questions publicly. Take the following example from Ammir’s interview.

Interviewer: Are you comfortable talking about any of those things that you don’t have answers for at the moment?
Ammir: Not really.
Interviewer: Okay, yeah.
Ammir: Yeah, not even to my parents. I wouldn’t–You know, it’s just something for me to–
Interviewer: So, it’s just some internal wrestlings there?
Ammir: Yeah, I wouldn’t really talk about it publicly or even privately, it’s just something for me to figure out, something for me to, you know, accomplish later.
Interviewer: Yeah, and do you ever talk to God about those things?
Ammir: Not really, again.

So, what does it look like to ask questions in a way that empowers young people?

Encourage young people to ask their own questions

If we want young people to grow in their faith, we need to actively encourage them to be asking their own questions and not be keeping them hidden to figure out later on, as Ammir pointed out in the extract above. Questions and curiosity are a vital part of growth both in young Christians and all of us!Learning to turn to God and the Bible for answers is how we grow. Jesus loved asking questions. Some of those questions were — Who do you think I am? Do you believe? Do you want to get well?

Model a lifestyle of asking questions in a real and vulnerable way

Parents, grandparents, mentors, youth leaders, whoever you are, modelling how to ask questions and find answers is so important. I remember once asking my dad a theological question and he answered me with “I don’t know, what do you think the Bible says?” I grew up watching my dad turn to the Bible for answers and express his own curiosity. His openness taught me to be the same.
When was the last time you openly shared the questions you have and your journey of finding answers? Where can you do this? Over the breakfast table with your family? When you’re hanging out with friends? If you’re helping out in Youth?

We need to be intentional to engage young people

We need to keep asking young people what their thoughts and questions are. In a culture that has taught them that questions are disrespectful, we need to display a culture that sees questions as good growth opportunities. Jesus asked questions, we should too. Let’s make sure that we do not become the fountain of knowledge for them, but that we keep pointing them to the Bible and God — the true fountain of knowledge. It’s also ok for us and for young people to not always know the answers. Tim Keller says, “a faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it.” Let that sink in! It’s healthy to wrestle with doubts and uncertainty when we ask questions.

If we want to make a difference in the lives of the young people around us, let’s start by asking questions. Simple, yet deeply impactful.

Much love,

Lauren Wilthew and the eFocus Team

As schools and universities begin a new term, our prayer focus this month is on the Next Generation. In Matthew 19:14 Jesus says: “Let the little children come to Me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

Jesus has a value for the young; despite the fact that they’re still learning, He isn’t fixated on what they’re getting right but simply on being close to them. Have you ever seen a child “trust in the Lord with all [their] heart, lean not on [their] own understanding”’ (Proverbs 3:5)? Somehow children have the capacity for faith in God beyond what many of us ‘more mature’ adults can muster. Children can reveal to us what it looks like to innocently trust a Good Father and to trust that He will do what He said He would do (Any parents accidentally told their children they can have an ice cream later? They remember!)

Our children and young people are going through a process that we, as adults, have all been through: a process of discovery and learning, forming belief structures and character as they experience the world. However, today’s youth are having to do this in a time of great uncertainty around identity, truth and institutional trust. It is a good time for us to pray for the Next Generation!

What could it look like for each of us reading this email to take some this month to pray for our next generation? Let us give you some ideas! Maybe pick one or two and see if you can weave them into your daily prayer rhythms throughout September:

If there are children you know, perhaps in your family, find a scripture that you can pray over them as a promise this school year and incorporate it into your evening prayers each night
Think about the school or university that you live closest to. How could you incorporate praying for that institution in your prayer times? You could even take prayer walks around the area regularly.
Do you know any teachers? They need our prayers! Reach out to them to find out how to pray for them.
Choose one issue facing young people in this generation and pray about it. Sometimes it helps to be really specific so that we don’t get overwhelmed by the size of the issue!
Pray about the media as it affects the young. Pray for TV shows and social media. Pray for regulation and safety and for positive influence.
Pray for the King’s Kids and for our youth within the church, and for those who are just going off to university. Pray for a thriving faith for the young, for dreams in the night, for provision of their needs, and for whole families to come to faith through their witness.

CELEBRATE WITH US!

King’s Kids update from Jess Fordham: In King’s Kids we are always trying to find exciting ways to teach the next generation about God and His love for them. This summer, we invited children from within King’s Arms and the local community to join us for our Holiday Club. Each day we got to connect with the kids and spent time learning how Jesus is the ultimate Superhero! One of the children was astonished to find out that as followers of Jesus, the Holy Spirit actually lives in us. It was the perfect opportunity for them to hear about God’s heart and give them the tools to grow in their relationship with Him, all while having lots of fun!

Let’s entrust the Next Generation into our King’s arms.

Much love,
Katy Ryland & The eFocus Team